When in Vegas ...

Day 53 - Tuesday 4 March 2008 - double-blogging day!

OK. So remember. This is the first of 2 posts to bring us bang up to date after a couple of weeks enjoying the west of the USA! So when you've read this one head to the archived posts section and read the one titled about Zion!

And - it's exciting times 'cos there's a new poll down the right hand side of IIJCDI. The results from the start off poll about where would people go was a resounding win for The Grand Canyon with 40% of the votes. I've now been there and you can read about it in a minute. Piece of cake to tick that one off so go for it guys! But the new poll's about my skill in locating celebos. No. Not Roger De Courcey. 'Or maybe up to Saint and Greavsie standard'. We're talking the creme de la creme. Hollywood celebos. Get voting everyone. It'll take a second, I'm going to run a 2-way ANOVA over this one and I'll announce the results in a week or so. I bumped into a Hollywood actor today right by the beach. But who was it ...

But let's go back a second. Vegas baby! After considering it for a long time (initially with Ed about 15 years ago!) I've finally got my Vegas badge. And, for first time visitors, I'll say Las Vegas is incredible. I loved it. It's got to be up there for the most intriguing places in the world that human beings have created.

And created is exactly the word for it. The finest (?!) brains in the USA (and probably the world) have constructed a feast for the eyes. Caesars Palace, The Venetian and Luxor have to be seen to be believed. The scale's incredible, the attention to detail completed to the Nth degree and you really do get transported to another place each time you step inside the super casinos.

I stayed in probably the best hotel of the trip (already - gumpf!) and was excited to be at Luxor. While my Mum and Dad were in the real thing I was lapping up the same in styro-foam and faux-gold paint. The design's incredible. The famous pyramid is visible all the way up from the inside and you can see the door to each and every room. It reminded me of the Star Wars Senate from the 1-3 Episodes. See! That's a view from the landing outside my room on the 23rd floor to the bustling carpets and an IMAX theatre in Egypt below. Hang on! I though Luxor was all sand and camels ...




















It was a classic 1980s build and is now looking a bit tatty (in fact all of Las Vegas is tattier than I expected). And there's construction everywhere. Both inside the casinos and on the Strip (Las Vegas Boulevard as I liked to call it). In fact I kind of felt like going to the Tourist Information offices and saying 'let me know when you've finished Vegas and I'll come back then please'. Because it's all about competition. Everyone has to have the tallest hotel and the biggest casino floor to attract the most people. Nowhere in human-kind is survival of the fittest more evident. Top of the list is Donald Trump. His place is gold, stands on it's own and is enormous. If only someone would persuade him to do something more constructive with his money than build these effigies to himself. Tosser!

I stayed in the best choice according to my budget. I also loved the pricier Caesars Palace that reminded me of reading the Father Christmas book as a kid. It looks exactly like Raymond Briggs imagined it. And getting around that one's really easy. 'Errr ... excuse me sir ... which way to the Blackjack tables please?'










And hankering after the Italian leg of my journey a long way to come I adored The Venetian. It was the classiest of the lot for me and, of course, had the famous painted sky ceilings that tricked you into thinking you were outdoors when ... you weren't. In fact they were identically in many places and it was an idea that clearly gave one artist an awful lot of contracts. I liked it even more outside though. Having navigated my way across the USA in long johns, trousers and gloves I was kind of enjoying being outdoors in a t-shirt and shorts! Although I didn't go for a serenade on my own.










Strangely these Vegas casinos made me feel really proud of being European. And even English. I'm not sure I've felt that for a while. I love the USA and for all their skill and opulence what they've created is brilliant. But it isn't the real deal. It tricks you for a while but then you realise that it's just too shiny. The real Europe crumbles and smolders. And aren't we lucky to live in it. I definitely intend to make the most of that in the future. Plan that Prague city break now kids!

OK. Enough dreaming of Europe. Let's get back to Sin City. Gambling and girls! Close your ears or should I say shut your eyes kids.

My gambling skills were, like my golf handicap, fairly low. I blew $5 on the slot machines happily one night while being served free ICE (Matt 'the wee bald fella' would have loved them) cold Coronas. Classy act from the Palace because I was playing the 1 cent slots. Equality rules in the Roman Empire. But even though I'm on a budget I wanted to play the tables at least once. So I picked one of the old skool, early casinos called Main Street Station. It was built in the glorious days of 1930s when Vegas was being established downtown rather than on the Boulevard. All in the Victorian style and it was like walking into a different era. The pre-gambling buffet necessitated a good sit down afterwards and was half the price of those at Excalibur (my nightmare!) et al. And so to Blackjack with $60 in chips and $5 minimum. I was at least going to get 12 hands in! But I got a lot more than that and was soon scraping my cards towards me for a hit and trying to tuck them under my chip to stand (freaking impossible and probably a Trump idea!). It was fun while it lasted. Because despite my sound, smart approach (if I say so myself) I got a bit over an hour of fun for my money. And others around me did worse. At least 6 people played my table and no on left up. And this is where Vegas, for me, falls down. It's about an equal chance between the player and the house but there's some mysterious force at play that means the house always wins! And so it gets boring pretty quick. No building crescendo of big money, no smiling faces (I'm not sure I saw anyone really happy in Vegas) and plenty of sighs and frowns. That's a definition of a wet weekend in Hull. Until you remember the girls ...

Don't take kids to Vegas. Unless you want them opening up the newspaper stands and going what does 'to fluff my pillows call 777-666-9900 and I'll be at your hotel in 20 minutes' mean Mummy. I didn't bother. But ... check out the cabaret act below the details for the LAX night club at my hotel. Now that just wasn't to be missed.










When in Egypt I always think you should check out the topless dance show! Fantasy (ha!) was brilliantly a bit naff. The theatre was surprisingly small and the saucy girls were interrupted by a comedian doing Tina Turner and Michael Jackson impressions. Nothing like being current huh?! I thought this was supposed to be the world's best entertainment! Tongue in cheek it was a top night's entertainment. And you got to meet the girls afterwards but it was the one time I left my hotel room without a camera - mare! They had tops on by then guys ...

If you're ever in LV you may want to head up the Stratosphere's Tower. It gives you an awesome view of the city and a real appreciation that the whole place sits in a valley surrounded by mountains (one of which provides snow boarding in the Winter). I got there, coincidentally, at dusk and caught this neat shot down the Strip. The big patch of green on the left is the golf course at the Wynn (Vegas is huge as a golf destination).















Now if you're in the city for a week like me you really need to get out! And so I played the bus-tripping tourist and joined a Vision Holidays Tour with Jerry 'the bouncing Czech' (his gag!) driver/guide/Gareth Hale lookey-likey! And it was a non-stop lesson to The Grand Canyon's South Rim. This blog may never end so I'll just provide a few gems of information and a photo of me at The Canyon. It's spectacular and clearly the grand-daddy of National Parks. It surprised me quite how symmetrical it was so maybe a God did carve it out of the land. It was also a mile deep so you'd hang on as tight as I am at the edge! Oh. And it's 10 miles across.

• Nevada's biggest income provider is mining not gambling
• A huge part of Nevada is owned federally for the military and a nuclear waste site
• The Grand Canyon is one of the Seven Wonders of the Natural World
• The Hoover Dam splits the Nevada/Arizona border and is still 'going off' in the middle having been completed in 1935
• The Navajo nation of American Indians owned the land in and around The Canyon and 0.5 million still live in a nearby reservation
• There are 3 theories of how it was formed based around erosion, tectonic plate movement and glaciers that no-one can agree on so teach your kids anything Growie!

And then it was time to tie up this American odyssey and complete my journey from the shores of the Atlantic Ocean to the shores of the Pacific Ocean. Overland by train and bus. Las Vegas to Los Angeles was a fairly non-descript part of that journey only made memorable by the shocking layer of smog sitting over the Angels.

Now the achievement would be neat at any time but to be able to share it with my big brother Rich and feel at home (in his home) in West LA makes it all the sweeter. Since I arrived here it's been a non-stop social and eating outing. Kicking back in Venice, Hollywood, Santa Monica and West LA with Nancy, Carly, Robert and Josh/Mel. We've played Rock Band which is the best product on any video game system ever and another thing on my 'to buy' list for the future! We also went to see The Magnetic Fields at The Henry Fonda theatre. Indie-rock stripped back to be acoustic and, for me, folky. I reckon they were a band composed of the high achievers from math class (got to drop the s over here!) and were obviously very smart and cool. The leader, Stevin Merritt is a bit like USA's Morrissey according to Rich.

Here we are shivering a bit on Saturday to prove that I've made it across! Since we took this it's been 20 degrees centigrade and gloriously sunny. You've got to just love California ...