Deservedly one of the seven wonders of the world

A dawning, foggy Machu Picchu ...













Very Minas Tirith in Gondor from The Lord of the Rings ...















Jungle-adventure Jez having reached the top of Wayna Picchu to get this incredible view ... look at this image when standing on your head to try and appreciate the condor shape!















And our topper Inkan-sized guide, Augustin, got in on the photogrpahic action ...












See ... I really was there despite the lack of recent photographs ...












Day 76 - Thursday 27 March 2008 ... sort of!

Wowwwwwwwwww!

It's remarkable, eerie, atmospheric, wonderful, awe inspiring, beautiful and rightly, if a bit sadly, rammed with people ... it's Machu Picchu and I loved every second of it!

The experience of visiting MP from the village of Aguas Calientes is a bit like a ski resort 'cos we were up at 0430 to a jam packed breakfast room to go and stand in line before dawn to be whisked up a mountain in a bus

It's all well worth it mind you because by 0630 we were stood just down from the Guard Tower in MP learning our first facts about this amazing site from our exceptional guide, Augustin, who left us shortly after 0900! A great inside experience that really brought the place to life and is a must if you pack your rucksack, head off and give it a go

We had the most amazing day of weather where we saw Pacha Mama, the Inka's Mother Earth, at her moodiest by delivering thick jungle fog at first, clearing to hot jungle sun and finally steamy jungle thundery rain

I grabbed a quiet 30 minutes on my own away from the crowds at the bottom of the agricultural sector and soaked up that Andean thunder bouncing around off it's highest peaks! The noise seems to go on forever and that experience was unforgettable!

The early morning fog meant that we could only see about 3 metres in front of us for the first hour or so and those who were trekking the Inka Trail could see nothing from the legendary Sun Gate sadly

But looking back it just added to the magic and one of human kinds most incredible creations slowly unfolded before us

Because the Inka's didn't write anything down and they just used symbology and a strange method of knots to pass messages called quipus the theories abound about MP's use and status

Because the overall site when viewed from above takes on the form of a condor it's thought MP was a place of peace where people would come to visit in a sacred pilgrimage and priests/scientists would come to study - this is because the condor's role was to carry souls on their journey to the next phase of life after death

To appreciate this symbology you have to climb Huayna or Wayna Picchu which is a nearby mountain overlooking MP - and when I say climb I mean climb! That bad boy was steep, dense with undergrowth and pretty scary in places - it's also full of too many day trippers not prepared to get too sweaty or too dirty - I was both by the time I reached the overlook for MP and all I was missing was the Hiram Bingham hat - he was the USA explorer who brought MP to the eyes of the world - I don't think you can say he found it - the local Quechans knew it was there forever! - but the climb was all well worth it and how the Inka's managed to see and design the site to take on this shape is astounding

And that's not the only symbology at the site - I went back to the Guard Tower when the fog had lifted and got some great photos of the puma image adorning Wayna Picchu and the condor, again, of the smaller mountain that kind of bridges Machu and Wayna Picchu - and even the layout of all the buildings takes on the form of a cayman climbing out of the Urubamba River far below - I'll show you them all in my awesome book when I'm back or do a bit of Googling if you care!

The archaeological highlight of the site for me was the Temple of the Condor - a crazy piece of building work that created a temple for sacrifices to this sacred animal with a condor's beak carved in stone that collected the blood and drained it to Pacha Mama - I think that was the meaning of it and it was pretty gruesome and ace! The stonework was also some of the finest at the site because it was a temple - the close fitting stones perfectly shaped and fitted - you know the deal!

And before I knew it my 7 hours at MP were up and it was time to head back through the Sacred Valley of the Inkas to Cuzco buzzing from the thrill of seeing this place ... for about 3 days!

For the record Dad I took 161 photos at MP and have become renowned in our Intrepid group for taking the most and holding others up ... I'm proud to call you my Dad and have your trait rub off on me!!!

They'll appear here when I can understand Windows in Spanish ... I'm trying kids so be patient!

The only way to trek ...

A river runs through it ... Ollantaytambo

And so do men on horseback ... I think my camera beep spooked these horses a bit ... I should know better and did say 'perdon' to the Peruvian cowboy ... and I love the shot ...

An ace wave from a Quechan kiddie in classic hat ...

Me and the cute Lizbeth at 4500 masl on top of the Ccasa Pass ...

Snow tipped Andean peaks are just jaw dropping huh? ...

As was Maisie Jones´ Andean dopple-ganger who studiously wrote in the exercise book I gave her ...

Day 75 - Wednesday 26 March 2008

I've most definitely changed since my last post - though sadly not my clothes - I whiff a bit because I´ve just come down out of the Andean highlands having spent, and wait for it, 2 days camping! I say camping because it's actually titled 'a luxury trek' but more about that in a minute

We arrived in Ollantaytambo a few days ago at the birth place of the Inkan rulers (they were a royal family immediately descended from their god-figure, Wiracocha) and they literally came out of the earth right where the sun hits the ground during the Winter solstice in a triangle of light created by the surrounding mountains - you can´t make this stuff up - it´s that good!

By the way we have to remember that the race of people were Quechans - Inkas refers only to the royal members - the mitimars were the middle classes who paid Inka taxes to live under their influence while the huaranas were the Inka's slaves - this is, I hope, factually accurate and correctly spelt?!

Ollantaytambo (pronounced Oi-an-tay-tam-bo) is my favourite place of this trip (alongside Moab in Utah) - it's right in the heart of the Sacred Valley and has a huge Inkan feel about it (500 years later!) - ancient terraces, a river rushing through it, high mountains everywhere, Wiracocha's face carved into the mountainside and the layout of the small, kitch town still intact - this is because it was the Inkans centre of agriculture so the Spaniards weren't interested in destroying it or stripping it of it's wealth (there was none there!) - the guide books will send you elsewhere but if you're ever in Peru miss Ollantaytambo at your peril!

I'm quoting facts now directly from an awesome local book that I've picked up having seen our Peruvian guide, Alberto, using it regularly (by the way the adventure company, Intrepid have been superb and, while I'll comment about group v individual travel in a later blog, I highly recommend them)

I say this because they've just sorted out one of my best ever life experiences that I wouldn't have been able to sort out on my own ... trekking from Lares to Ollantaytambo

The trek takes 3 days and, for me, finished just a few hours ago!

We started in Lares at 3500 masl (metres above sea level) - Lares is 2.5 hours up a winding, dirt road from Calca in the Sacred Valley and we bathed in hot springs where slightly sulphorous water has burst out of the mountainside and created a wonderful set of yellow-ish pools of naturally hot water - if only they could have burst out where the trek finished I might smell better!

And then before you could wolf down your lunch (cooked by the unbelievable Rimaldo who created the simplest, tastiest, 3 course meals off his knees using fresh spring water, market produce and fruit off a nearby tree!) we were off - uphill - I say uphill - upmountain is more accurate ...

Our support team for this trek (there were 2 paying customers) consisted of our guide, Lizbeth (who insisted on calling me 'boy' all trek!), Rimaldo (the chef), the assistant chef (who´s name I didn´t get), the general assistant (who´s name I also missed!) and Fernando (the horse boy) - oh, and, of course, the horse - talk about a fellowship - I had the Lord of the Rings music in my ears for large parts of our Andean adventure!

The format was that the support team would do everything apart from walk for you - but then the horse was there for that if you were desperate - I wasn´t - and for the record performed very strongly at our highest altitude of 4500 masl (I think Everest base camp is about 6000 masl to give you a marker - Lucy´s done it and might be able to help us out?)

Bless 'em - they'd make camp, cook for us, pack camp, charge ahead of us and do it all again - heck - they even woke us up with a cup of 'mate de coca' in our tents first thing at 6am (the incredible, amazing coca tea!) - now that's camping that I love - and I did love it - I felt like a kid again - and I feel bad about not doing it for so long but that's why I´m out here to re-learn a few things - count me in for a few days next time the Jonesys and Harris'!

From Lares we skulked (the best way to describe the slow, laborious and best approach to trekking the largest mountain range in the world) upmountain for a few hours - we travelled alongside gushing rivers (I wasn´t prepared for how many and how full they'd be at this time of year just after the wet season) and walked into local villages where everyone's almost outside the system of the world - we were right out there on our own amongst nature and it's most resilient people

And it's those people that made this trek so over-whelming - these people have nothing of financial value compared to us in GB - and I mean nothing - their floors are mud, their houses are mud and grass, their clothes are woven llama wool and their water comes straight out of a river - and yet they are so rich - when they saw us coming the kids would come running towards you shouting 'ola' or 'allillanchu' (the ancient, highland language of Quecha) and were clearly, blissfully happy - and this happened not only up from Lares but again, and again, and again - the first time though it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you can't help but smile!

We camped the first night at Waca Wasi at 3900 masl and it's amazing how tired you can be at 8:30pm - when trekking you're following the pattern of the sun - up with it and bed with it - I nodded off immediately! - but not before I´d spread some of the old Jez-magic for 3 local kids who just stood and watched me sort out my tent when I arrived - well that wasn't enough for me - I turned round and showed them all my kit and ended up getting a go with their best toy - an old tire and stick! - if you've seen Ewan Mcgregor getting to know the local kids on his trips - I copied him - and it worked a treat!

The second day started at 7am and finished at 5pm - but boy did we cover some ground - the entire trek is 36K - 8K from Lares to Waca Wasi - 16K from Waca Wasi to Willock - and, finally, 12K from Willck to Ollantaytambo

Waca Wasi to Willock took us straight over the Ccasa Pass at 4500 masl - and past what was once a glacier just 30 years ago but is now just a marshy plateau - another be green/global warming check point for me - a whole morning going upmountain with diminishing supplies of oxygen - but pah to asthma and all that! - I felt incredible and actually wished the trek had been harder now I´m sat on my backside back in civilisation - it was an atmospheric, cool, bleak morning with low lying clouds - loads of herds of llamas - loads of potato crops - nobody else around - and an immense sense of isolation on top of the world - just what I wanted!

But after another cracking lunch (Rimaldo's soups hit the spot!) we started descending and the scenery changed - we turned the corner of a mountain (as you do!) and everything opened/cleared up - the sun came out and there, miles away, were our first sight of snow capped Andean peaks fronted by lush green mountains and another fast running river that had forged a gorge we were heading straight down - wow! - I also found Maisie Jones' Peruvian dopple-ganger hanging out with her family and enjoying the sun! - the same mannerisms, smile and almost as beautiful ...

We camped the night alongside the tiny community of Willock at about 3200 masl and borrowed their community hall's toilet (I did say it was luxury trekking!) - and as if all this wasn't enough every cloud disappeared to display the night sky at it's best - the Milky Way shone brightly and threw out the clearest shooting star you could wish to see! - I need to join the astronomy club when and if I get back!!! - now this is really important for the Inka history I´m absorbing - because they worshipped the sun and the stars - in fact they believed the Milky Way was the reflection of the Sacred Valley

And to today - a simple, downhill jaunt to Ollantaytambo and I've gushed about that already - Inkan terraces that are rarely visited and still worked, even more local communities with welcoming faces, images of the Inkan's sacred animals portrayed by the natural landscape and the sun shining brightly to guide us home ...

This has all wet my whistle for longer trekking time in Nepal and I can only hope it's half this good - it'll likely be even better! - but (wow!) the memories of those Andean people and shaking their hands will stay with me forever - far from being disappointed about not doing the Inka Trail I´m over-joyed to have trekked from Lares - if I'm always doing things a bit differently to everyone else I've worked out that I'm always happy!

Sorry but more IT issues here in South America (this time logistical not technical) and the photos will follow - I promise!

Over and out from Aguas Calientes - we've just had a meeting with our local guide who will take us around Machu Picchu from 6:00am tomorrow morning - what a way to spend a Thursday - I really can't wait to see and blog about one of the 7 Wonders of the World ...

Holed up in deepest Peru!

The awesome Monasterio de San Francisco in central, downtown Lima ...















Our hotel in Pisco was still showing signs of the earthquake that hit 6 months before we arrived ...















This was one of the Islas Ballestas and I loved this shot more than the wildlife I saw! Very Uncharted: Drakes Fortune Rich?!













Mad Max eat your heart out ... dune buggying Peruvian style ... and you and I thought it only had Machu Picchu ...













One of the mysterious Nazca lines from under the tip of a Cessna aircraft ... you´ll need to enlarge this shot by clicking on it to appreicate the lines of the Humming Bird ...













Day 71 - Saturday 22 March 2008

Hello again blog fans and greetings from Cuzco and the heart of the Inka empire (I believe that´s the South American spelling if you´re wondering)

Well I've found a super fast internet connection here but judging from the layer of ever-present South American dust atop the inside of the CD drive of the computer it's probably not best to attach my camera to the USB port ... that I can't even find! And such is life here in South America

Ill post photos back here at a later date (so print the book deal copy out later Dad!) and test out my real newshound skills

Although that´s actually quite difficult because compared to the ´'easy peasy lemon squeezy´' USA, Peru and South America wear you out a bit!

So in a change of style I´ll try and catch up the last 10 days in a bulleted style chronological series of comments =

1
LAN flights are awesome - on demand latest and archived movies and TV in every seat with a huge widescreen - and plenty of Japanese Peruvians 'cos their previous President was Japanese born

2
Coming past the glass doors into a rammed waiting area at Lima airport to work out that your difficult name will never be found on a scrap of paper in a stranger´s hand is scary and thrilling - a newly planned, officially found taxi ride later (and reminding the driver who´s saying it´s much longer than you expected and that you´re being waited up for!) and hostels' security here is brilliant

3
A once in a lifetime reeling at the sites and sounds of the developing world for the first few hours you walk round a city like Lima - loved that, loved it! - it´s worn off now but wasn´t it a treat - a freaking tetchy, quirky, cacky feeling in your stomach treat!

4
'Quisiera irr a dos-siette-ocho Elias Aguieres en Miraflores, Lima por favour senor' is rattled off by me now like Sally Elliott whispering sweet nothings in Italian to Nick after a hard day at work! - she´s a Language Teacher for those who haven´t met Sally - and maybe you should ...

5
I´m used to dodging speeding cars with horns blazing like a bull fighter

6
Jeez these place gives you a constant sheen of dust and diesel - the Daewoos have given Korea (?!) a financial shot in the arm and global warming a shot in the foot

7
But what can they do - I´m already twice as humble as when I left the UK - we have so much of everything in comparison to here - it's mind blowing - if I ever complain about a dirty stain on my sofa again (and I will!) remind me of this post and Peru ...

8
The Monasterio de San Francisco in Lima was unbelievable - 9 Passions of the Christ frescoes by Rubens (all 4 metres by 3 metres) hung in one room - and catacombs of the early dead Limoans and monks - the dank, musty, decaying smell was on your tongue!

9
The diversity of Peru is amazing - in the Larco Mar shopping mall in Lima you could have been in Santa Monica (glitzy, westernised shopping mall, cinema and restaurants) - we dined out before heading down the coast ...

10
On a public bus to Pisco where you could have been in Beirut in the 1980s - it was hit by a 6/7 on the Richter scale earthquake in August 2007 - and people are living in tents and sheds while working for tiny earning from the government to clear things up - the church roof collapsed mid-service in the quake and the only survivor was the priest who jumped underneath the ancient, sturdy altar (sounds a bit urban-myth like to be true?!) - the church bit - the devastation and the feeling of wanting to help/sorrow was definitely real

11
A sweet boat trip to the Islas Ballestas - 'the poor man's Galapagos Islands' - penguins, sea lions, Peruvian boobies (spelling and content!), gull things, etc - add them again Swifty - you are keeping count right?

12
I´m always getting up at 6-7am these days to explore with Intrepid - Elaine will be mightily impressed when 10am used to be my start time ...

13
The best fun with your clothes on is dune buggying and sand boarding at Huachachina - near vertical drops, sand dunes that look like the Sahara and stretch for as far as you can see and are backed by the Andes - sweeeeet!

14
I kid you not - a 30 minute flight in a Cessna small aircraft over the Nazcan cultures mysterious lines in Nazca - check them out here for all the gen =
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazca_Lines
For 30 pounds here in lovely, fabulous Peru! Numerous theories and the most likely about praying to their Gods for water but the best about proof of pre-homo sapiens alien exchanges!

15
2 days in bed in Arequipa with Peru-backside! A Doctor, a jab (brand new needle!), plenty of antibiotics and fighting fit again - the first mental thing of the trip came into it! 'I will get better ready for the Lares Trek and Macchu Picchu'

16
And that brings us bang up to date - we´ve just got into very chic, very Inkan, very hippy hang out, very backpacker-central Cuzco ready to visit the Sacred Valley tomorrow and attack the Lares Trek the day after - yep - I´m not doing the Inka Trail - but a less travelled, less well known, hopefully more remote and probably better-story in the future trainer bash - and still do Macchu Picchu the day it´s done - both are just wonderful I´m sure

So - on your marks, get set, go - 'where do you find your Andes?' ... who´ll be first to comment with the right answer for another prize from Jezdiana ...

Asta luego amigos!

The end of the American odyssey ... but only for the North!

Day 60 - Tuesday 11 March 2008

Shoot man - I've been on the road for well over 2 months now and I'm still only 1 country down - maybe the USA is bigger than I thought - I better get a move on!

So it’s been a week or two of back to normality. Living life like everyone else. Well. Everyone else who’s not working for a living right now. But it’s been a magic week or two because it’s been a pretty busy one for Rich. He talked about his latest game, Uncharted: Drakes Fortune, at the University of Southern California’s Robert Zemeckis Centre for Digital Arts. A cracking turn out of just under 50 under-grads, post-grads and anyone off the street who’s into their gaming. A top presentation and I acted as presenter-analyst and photographer for the night. The place is unreal. Funded by Bobbie Zemeckis (Back To The Future and Forrest Gump) and covered in original artwork signed by his mates George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, etc. Need I say more!

And if that wasn’t enough afterwards we hooked up with Tracy and Mark from the Centre and checked out an incredible dream-like-state game and the latest cutting edge Virtual Reality technology. And I mean real cutting edge, best in the world, stuff. We, of course, couldn’t wait to get stuck in and here’s a picture of me looking like Doc Emmitt ‘1.21 gigawatts’ Brown! I felt like puking after a short while because it was a driving simulation and you have a 360 degree field of view i.e. you can look behind you and there’s the world. Incredible, once in a lifetime stuff.

We also headed up the J. Paul Getty Museum that sits atop a hill overlooking the whole of Los Angeles. You get a rare view of everywhere and as a friend of Rich’s put it ‘you come here for the setting, eating and atmosphere as much as for the art’. The said friend was Albrecht who is a conservator of art for the Museum and he gave us a behind the scenes tour of the art conservation department. The photography/architecture side of things than the fine art but none-the-less a real privilege. Everything’s unbelievably clean and white with wonderfully warm and welcoming people around. A bit like the watery world where they make the clones in Star Wars Episode 2!

Here’s a picture shortly before we got round to checking out some art of Stan Laurel (left) and Bob Mortimer (right). 2 comedy greats back dropped by Beverly Hills and Bel Air. Not a bad neighbourhood to hang out in that day!

And I was really chuffed to get another National Park in before leaving this beautiful land. My number 5 of this journey was Joshua Tree that lies east of Los Angeles by a few hours and consists of loads of U2 cassettes piled on top of one another. Actually, that’s not strictly true and the Joshua Tree is a member of the Yucca family. I love this shot of Rich making sure he got the J Tree in a top composition for this shot.

This is one of the very few places in the world it grows. Certainly in this quantity. Rich’s mate Robert did a top job of driving us out there in his Wrangler Jeep and diverting off road to find wildflowers all over the desert floor. These few weeks are the only time all year they’re out and rare because of the lack of water and abundance of sand. A crazy spectacle.

At the top of J Tree there’s a spectacular view point where you can see down into Mexico and observe the San Andreas Fault that Superman had to battle in Superman 1 I think. May Christopher Reeve rest in peace. I loved those movies! At least you can kind of see this enormous valley. It’s covered in what you first think is mist. Until you read the information boards and learn that it’s actually smog being blown in from Los Angeles. It adds a whole other perspective to those images of Hollywood stars in Hummers. They’re seriously knackering this part of the world and, admittedly slowly, harming the people who call LA home. Listen to me. Some time in the great outdoors and I’m turning into a hippy. Which I like! I’ve added ‘go properly green’ to my list of things to change in my life!

And so my time here's up. I fly down to Lima in Peru and add another country to my journey. I'm feeling a bit apprehensive 'cos Peru and Bolivia aren't quite as cosy as LA's Japantown where I currently live! But I'll adjust back into traveller mode again quickly I'm sure and am really looking forward to my adventure tour from Lima to La Paz with Intrepid that starts on Friday. I'll be camping high in the Andes in a couple of weeks. Wow!

So it’s only right to make a couple of lists and give you my impression of the USA.

‘When I leave the USA I won’t miss …

a society trying too hard to solve problems by creating plenty more (‘take this drug to cure x and you’ll only have to suffer from y and z instead’)

people wearing their mobile/cell phones on holsters like it’s trendy (it’s not)

a post 9/11 nervousness that results in search after search and no bags after no bags and no water containers after no water containers and … (you get my point)'

‘When I leave the USA I’ll miss …

root beer

Red Vines

top quality service

a ‘can do’ attitude to life

gregarious, outgoing, confident, honest, open, chatty, helpful, fabulous people

basketball (I may play when I get back and LeBron James rocks)

big coffees

having loads of 1 dollar bills in my pocket and making me feel rich when I’m not

playing any more of Rockband and Uncharted (a PS3 is high on my must-have list but not right now ‘cos they’re big and heavy you know)

… my brother (who, as always, has been an absolute star during my stay and is very happy here in LA)'

It’s ridiculous to pick fave countries at any point in this journey. They all are what they are (or will be what they’ll be). I used to idolize California but having traveled coast to coast I don’t feel like that about this state or the country as a whole. But I do love it and probably because it’s very like the UK. Or we’re very like the USA is more accurate. It's really not as big as I imagined and everyone always says (most, like Judith Chalmers, probably haven't done it overland on the bus and train where you get the real perspective). I hope everyone quickly forgets the latest administration in The White House and the USA's citizens vote in sweeping change soon. Maybe then it can be remembered again not for it's foreign policy but for the beauty pf it's land and it's people. I don't think humankind can create the perfect society but this can't be far off.

Take it easy the United States of America and I'll finish off by giving you the answer to the week long poll running on the blog. You voted like you thought I'd bumped into Will Ferrell who was a topical choice if Semi-Pro is out in the UK right now! But my red herring worked and it wasn't Will Ferrell. I did suggest that this was not my usual 'saw Annabel Croft at Wimbledon' line. This is the big league and my best ever celebrity spot. Drum rolllll please ... Al Pacino. Arguably the best actor of my lifetime was on his phone trying to arrange meeting up with a friend 'no, left, on Ocean' immediately next to Jez. Big leather jacket, baggy Tiger Woods early 90s slacks and huge brown shoes. But boy did his face look worn and full of intrigue. Anyone top that? And Brian Jacks when they did their Superstars tour when we were kids doesn't count ...

When in Vegas ...

Day 53 - Tuesday 4 March 2008 - double-blogging day!

OK. So remember. This is the first of 2 posts to bring us bang up to date after a couple of weeks enjoying the west of the USA! So when you've read this one head to the archived posts section and read the one titled about Zion!

And - it's exciting times 'cos there's a new poll down the right hand side of IIJCDI. The results from the start off poll about where would people go was a resounding win for The Grand Canyon with 40% of the votes. I've now been there and you can read about it in a minute. Piece of cake to tick that one off so go for it guys! But the new poll's about my skill in locating celebos. No. Not Roger De Courcey. 'Or maybe up to Saint and Greavsie standard'. We're talking the creme de la creme. Hollywood celebos. Get voting everyone. It'll take a second, I'm going to run a 2-way ANOVA over this one and I'll announce the results in a week or so. I bumped into a Hollywood actor today right by the beach. But who was it ...

But let's go back a second. Vegas baby! After considering it for a long time (initially with Ed about 15 years ago!) I've finally got my Vegas badge. And, for first time visitors, I'll say Las Vegas is incredible. I loved it. It's got to be up there for the most intriguing places in the world that human beings have created.

And created is exactly the word for it. The finest (?!) brains in the USA (and probably the world) have constructed a feast for the eyes. Caesars Palace, The Venetian and Luxor have to be seen to be believed. The scale's incredible, the attention to detail completed to the Nth degree and you really do get transported to another place each time you step inside the super casinos.

I stayed in probably the best hotel of the trip (already - gumpf!) and was excited to be at Luxor. While my Mum and Dad were in the real thing I was lapping up the same in styro-foam and faux-gold paint. The design's incredible. The famous pyramid is visible all the way up from the inside and you can see the door to each and every room. It reminded me of the Star Wars Senate from the 1-3 Episodes. See! That's a view from the landing outside my room on the 23rd floor to the bustling carpets and an IMAX theatre in Egypt below. Hang on! I though Luxor was all sand and camels ...




















It was a classic 1980s build and is now looking a bit tatty (in fact all of Las Vegas is tattier than I expected). And there's construction everywhere. Both inside the casinos and on the Strip (Las Vegas Boulevard as I liked to call it). In fact I kind of felt like going to the Tourist Information offices and saying 'let me know when you've finished Vegas and I'll come back then please'. Because it's all about competition. Everyone has to have the tallest hotel and the biggest casino floor to attract the most people. Nowhere in human-kind is survival of the fittest more evident. Top of the list is Donald Trump. His place is gold, stands on it's own and is enormous. If only someone would persuade him to do something more constructive with his money than build these effigies to himself. Tosser!

I stayed in the best choice according to my budget. I also loved the pricier Caesars Palace that reminded me of reading the Father Christmas book as a kid. It looks exactly like Raymond Briggs imagined it. And getting around that one's really easy. 'Errr ... excuse me sir ... which way to the Blackjack tables please?'










And hankering after the Italian leg of my journey a long way to come I adored The Venetian. It was the classiest of the lot for me and, of course, had the famous painted sky ceilings that tricked you into thinking you were outdoors when ... you weren't. In fact they were identically in many places and it was an idea that clearly gave one artist an awful lot of contracts. I liked it even more outside though. Having navigated my way across the USA in long johns, trousers and gloves I was kind of enjoying being outdoors in a t-shirt and shorts! Although I didn't go for a serenade on my own.










Strangely these Vegas casinos made me feel really proud of being European. And even English. I'm not sure I've felt that for a while. I love the USA and for all their skill and opulence what they've created is brilliant. But it isn't the real deal. It tricks you for a while but then you realise that it's just too shiny. The real Europe crumbles and smolders. And aren't we lucky to live in it. I definitely intend to make the most of that in the future. Plan that Prague city break now kids!

OK. Enough dreaming of Europe. Let's get back to Sin City. Gambling and girls! Close your ears or should I say shut your eyes kids.

My gambling skills were, like my golf handicap, fairly low. I blew $5 on the slot machines happily one night while being served free ICE (Matt 'the wee bald fella' would have loved them) cold Coronas. Classy act from the Palace because I was playing the 1 cent slots. Equality rules in the Roman Empire. But even though I'm on a budget I wanted to play the tables at least once. So I picked one of the old skool, early casinos called Main Street Station. It was built in the glorious days of 1930s when Vegas was being established downtown rather than on the Boulevard. All in the Victorian style and it was like walking into a different era. The pre-gambling buffet necessitated a good sit down afterwards and was half the price of those at Excalibur (my nightmare!) et al. And so to Blackjack with $60 in chips and $5 minimum. I was at least going to get 12 hands in! But I got a lot more than that and was soon scraping my cards towards me for a hit and trying to tuck them under my chip to stand (freaking impossible and probably a Trump idea!). It was fun while it lasted. Because despite my sound, smart approach (if I say so myself) I got a bit over an hour of fun for my money. And others around me did worse. At least 6 people played my table and no on left up. And this is where Vegas, for me, falls down. It's about an equal chance between the player and the house but there's some mysterious force at play that means the house always wins! And so it gets boring pretty quick. No building crescendo of big money, no smiling faces (I'm not sure I saw anyone really happy in Vegas) and plenty of sighs and frowns. That's a definition of a wet weekend in Hull. Until you remember the girls ...

Don't take kids to Vegas. Unless you want them opening up the newspaper stands and going what does 'to fluff my pillows call 777-666-9900 and I'll be at your hotel in 20 minutes' mean Mummy. I didn't bother. But ... check out the cabaret act below the details for the LAX night club at my hotel. Now that just wasn't to be missed.










When in Egypt I always think you should check out the topless dance show! Fantasy (ha!) was brilliantly a bit naff. The theatre was surprisingly small and the saucy girls were interrupted by a comedian doing Tina Turner and Michael Jackson impressions. Nothing like being current huh?! I thought this was supposed to be the world's best entertainment! Tongue in cheek it was a top night's entertainment. And you got to meet the girls afterwards but it was the one time I left my hotel room without a camera - mare! They had tops on by then guys ...

If you're ever in LV you may want to head up the Stratosphere's Tower. It gives you an awesome view of the city and a real appreciation that the whole place sits in a valley surrounded by mountains (one of which provides snow boarding in the Winter). I got there, coincidentally, at dusk and caught this neat shot down the Strip. The big patch of green on the left is the golf course at the Wynn (Vegas is huge as a golf destination).















Now if you're in the city for a week like me you really need to get out! And so I played the bus-tripping tourist and joined a Vision Holidays Tour with Jerry 'the bouncing Czech' (his gag!) driver/guide/Gareth Hale lookey-likey! And it was a non-stop lesson to The Grand Canyon's South Rim. This blog may never end so I'll just provide a few gems of information and a photo of me at The Canyon. It's spectacular and clearly the grand-daddy of National Parks. It surprised me quite how symmetrical it was so maybe a God did carve it out of the land. It was also a mile deep so you'd hang on as tight as I am at the edge! Oh. And it's 10 miles across.

• Nevada's biggest income provider is mining not gambling
• A huge part of Nevada is owned federally for the military and a nuclear waste site
• The Grand Canyon is one of the Seven Wonders of the Natural World
• The Hoover Dam splits the Nevada/Arizona border and is still 'going off' in the middle having been completed in 1935
• The Navajo nation of American Indians owned the land in and around The Canyon and 0.5 million still live in a nearby reservation
• There are 3 theories of how it was formed based around erosion, tectonic plate movement and glaciers that no-one can agree on so teach your kids anything Growie!

And then it was time to tie up this American odyssey and complete my journey from the shores of the Atlantic Ocean to the shores of the Pacific Ocean. Overland by train and bus. Las Vegas to Los Angeles was a fairly non-descript part of that journey only made memorable by the shocking layer of smog sitting over the Angels.

Now the achievement would be neat at any time but to be able to share it with my big brother Rich and feel at home (in his home) in West LA makes it all the sweeter. Since I arrived here it's been a non-stop social and eating outing. Kicking back in Venice, Hollywood, Santa Monica and West LA with Nancy, Carly, Robert and Josh/Mel. We've played Rock Band which is the best product on any video game system ever and another thing on my 'to buy' list for the future! We also went to see The Magnetic Fields at The Henry Fonda theatre. Indie-rock stripped back to be acoustic and, for me, folky. I reckon they were a band composed of the high achievers from math class (got to drop the s over here!) and were obviously very smart and cool. The leader, Stevin Merritt is a bit like USA's Morrissey according to Rich.

Here we are shivering a bit on Saturday to prove that I've made it across! Since we took this it's been 20 degrees centigrade and gloriously sunny. You've got to just love California ...

I'm gonna' be iron, like a lion, in Zion

Day 53 - Tuesday 4 March 2008 - double-blogging day!

Phew - where to pick up?! - well - let's stick to the chronological approach.

I left Moab after waking to yet another snow storm passing through - pretty wet and mushy - but snow in the desert all the same! - it flooded through the town in a pretty stylish way and saw me take shelter in Mondo's Coffee Shop where I bumped into Scott and his family who were down from Park City for the week - they made me aware just what an amazing state Utah must be for sports enthusiasts - they have the ski lifts outside Salt Lake City in view from their house and yet are in Moab for biking/hiking in a few hours drive.

So everyone pack up and let's head to Utah - we'll all have to drink weak beer - the Mormons (who sent missionaries to the state back in the 19th century) now have a huge influence and, basically, won't allow any 'full' strength beer - now that's not strictly true and there are state liquor stores where you can buy the stuff that turns your legs to jelly - but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (as they're longly known) aren't to be mucked around. Oh. And they build beautiful, big churches including this St Georger.













I pulled an all nighter after missing a cheeky attempt to catch an earlier than planned connection out of Moab to my next stop in St George - a grumpy bugger bus driver was replaced by an even grumpier bugger at 2:30am after I'd waited around and talked British dance music to Ivan who was on his way to San Bernardino just east of Los Angeles.

So I rolled into beautiful St George, left the bus and ate my breakfast watching the Greyhound I'd just got off be emptied and sniffer dog searched - I can only assume for drugs. Ha! That would really have pissed off the driver! The drivers on these Greyhound's are incredibly influential. They're the director of a small company for the duration of the journey and whatever they say and do you have to follow. If you want to get a ride that is! I can understand that you get a pretty mad cross section of society on the bus and you need some authority. But the best drivers do it with a smile, a conductor's style hat (that I'm thinking of importing to the British clubbing scene) and an air of grace about them. Stylin'.

Now St George was an aspirational Palm Springs. Very pretty, small town USA attracting the 'retire to the warm desert' set and so it's safe as houses and has 12 golf courses in about 20 minutes drive of each other. It also has the coolest municipal airport on a plateau of high ground overlooking the town. Flights around the south west in Playmobil sized planes. I know this 'cos I rented a car from Budget there and had to walk up the bleedin' hill to reach it twice in two days. It was about 2.5 miles but when you're on a budget those cabs just aren't an option. (Get the violins out). Oh. They also had the best public library I'd seen since New York. 50p for 1 hour of internet access (v 5 quid everywhere else) and all the magazines you could ever want to read. Apart from those ones Tatey.

And the reason for seeing this little town (although I think it was probably twice the size of Lichfield so I really must be in USA mode now) was to visit more National Parks. Now I had an early faller off the list in Bryce Canyon (I've seen enough Canyons to last me for a while) and, sadly, I learned that the North Rim of the Grand Canyon (the remote one) is closed right now because of snow! So we were down to Zion but boy was it another cracker.

Incredibly different to Arches and Canyonlands despite the short(again by USA standards!) bus journey to get there from Moab. It's made up of Zion Canyon where all the tourists head in Summer and get shuttle bused up and down it never really needing to walk! But thankfully I could happily drive around it and I did so all day taking the hikes where I could. Because of ice and snow this was an all too regular view ...













It was a cool and cloudy day but I was amazed when a small patch of sun broke through and lit the Great White Throne. Now those Latter Day Saints won't be too chuffed to understand what that name could mean. But who cares Jez. Just check out how beautiful this looks standing at the end of an incredibly eroded Canyon.




















Right at the end of the Canyon are The Narrows. These are where the soft sandstone has eroded away and left harder sandstone intact above it. The result is an incredibly 'narrow' route that is navigable for Syd Little but may be more difficult for Eddie Large. It's an incredible Summer experience (apparently) where you're constantly in water and have to camp half way through the 2 day one-way journey. And it's a bit 'life in your hands'. Through Zion Canyon there's constant flash flood warnings. Rain or snow melting half way across Utah can bring a tumultuous flow of water through Zion and take everything in it's path. Much like one of my well timed hockey tackles.

In February though it's more about falling ice. I stopped to admire a waterfall near The Narrows along with a Latin American family. A rumble, crack and boom above saw a hefty slab of ice come flying down the 'pretty but deadly' ICE fall and we all jumped out of harm's way. No one was hurt and sadly it narrowly missed the young kid who was whining about a 'lovely day out in the National Park'.

The day afterwards on Sunday (a weekend in another all to myself-ish National Park) I explored the Kolob Canyon section of Zion which was seriously rugged and remote. It had what looked in Winter like a petrified forest sitting on the plateau at it's top. The amount of trees living in this part of the desert was the striking difference to Moab and the theme continued at The Grand Canyon. Kolob had me running scared when the road turned icy and I the ranger station looked pretty abandoned!

So I also drove through the Mount Carmel tunnel that heads east from Zion Canyon and opens up a whole new, different vista to the Canyon and it's comfortable Visitor Centre. Zion's trademark of big spruce trees (is that right Dad?!) grow right out of the side of sheer rock faces where there seems to be no room for a root structure and no water. The rock is also much lighter than anywhere else in the National Park and the route to this overlook was dicey, slippery but well worth the element of danger. Bloody high and the dating couples I met at the end of the trail decided photographs would look cool away from the railings and a hop, skip and jump away from a drop of hundreds of feet. Hence the John Cleese-esque stance. Well I'd like to see you lean backwards in those conditions!




















And that was National Park 3 ticked off. It wasn't the best because of Winter but if you're in Las Vegas get up to Zion in Summer. It'd be green and The Narrows would be unreal! Just don't eat too many donuts before you go ...










For parents everywhere (and in homage to Monkey from Lichfield Hockey Club) is this funny graffiti stickering on a road sign just outside Zion!